As a product of a rather long, drawn out divorce I have noticed that all things I went through were common in most divorces.What parents need to know, is that their children (or child) aren't stupid,they know when something is amiss in your relationship with your husband or wife.Children are affected the same way regardless of their age, they can be 2 years old or 20 years old,it's still the same.It doesn't even matter if the divorce was due to an mutual agreement or whether it was due to adultery,the pain of the separation still hurts just as much.You have to assume that at some point they are going to feel that they were either entirely or partially apart of the reason for the separation.
Realize that when you and your spouse split, the children are now "new" people.They learn new ways to treat people, they learn not to be trusting, as well as how to handle uncomfortable situations,etc... Sometimes they become more outgoing-partying, hanging out with friends/random people more often or they become more introverted-not wanting to do the same things,go to the same places and/or less open to new things/people.
From personal experience,I became more introverted.I was already not the most sociable person,but the divorce did not help any.I became more insecure and less trusting of other people-including family members.I was around 10 years old when my parents "called it quits". When you see your own parents no longer wanting to be together it makes you feel like you can't trust anyone.You trust your parents to always be there for you and always be at an arms reach when you want them-that all changes after a divorce.
Children hold their parents to a higher standard and when they don't succeed at reaching and maintaining that level,it automatically feels like there is a loss of balance in their lives and that they have to do something to change it or fill the lack that's been left by their parents.....
TO BE CONTINUED.....
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