In an effort to avoid "traumatizing" the children,parents need to sit their children down individually in private and explain to them the reason why they are getting a divorce,with out getting into to much detail and with out "bashing" the other spouse.When parents don't explain the divorce or are very vague about the reasons it allows the children to make up their own conclusions as to why this is all happening...which is usually based on any events leading up to the divorce and/or how both spouses act during the course of the proceedings.
Even when parents think they are protecting their children from the ugliness of whatever is going on,they're really not,instead they are harming them by making them think it's okay to live in dysfunction in any form or that it's okay to keep secrets and hide their true feelings or situation from others.All of this just causes confusion overall.I believe that parents don't want their children to exposed to anything negative so they feel that it's best to keep marital issues completely private.The intentions are good on the parent's behalf,but it's not necessarily benefiting the children involved.
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A common issue in most all divorces,is both parties bad mouthing the other behind each others back-to the children or around the children.In some cases it's just one party that's doing the "talking".....
more to come.........
-Lauren
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