~Side Effects of Divorce~

As a product of a rather long, drawn out divorce I have noticed that all things I went through were common in most divorces.What parents need to know, is that their children (or child) aren't stupid,they know when something is amiss in your relationship with your husband or wife.Children are affected the same way regardless of their age, they can be 2 years old or 20 years old,it's still the same.It doesn't even matter if the divorce was due to an mutual agreement or whether it was due to adultery,the pain of the separation still hurts just as much.You have to assume that at some point they are going to feel that they were either entirely or partially apart of the reason for the separation.

Realize that when you and your spouse split, the children are now "new" people.They learn new ways to treat people, they learn not to be trusting, as well as how to handle uncomfortable situations,etc... Sometimes they become more outgoing-partying, hanging out with friends/random people more often or they become more introverted-not wanting to do the same things,go to the same places and/or less open to new things/people.

From personal experience,I became more introverted.I was already not the most sociable person,but the divorce did not help any.I became more insecure and less trusting of other people-including family members.I was around 10 years old when my parents "called it quits". When you see your own parents no longer wanting to be together it makes you feel like you can't trust anyone.You trust your parents to always be there for you and always be at an arms reach when you want them-that all changes after a divorce.

Children hold their parents to a higher standard and when they don't succeed at reaching and maintaining that level,it automatically feels like there is a loss of balance in their lives and that they have to do something to change it or fill the lack that's been left by their parents.....

TO BE CONTINUED.....

~Repentance

re·pent·ance

 [ri-pen-tns, -pen-tuhns]

1.deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.

2.regret for any past action.

 This topic came up when working on my "Seeking Him" revival workbook for Ministry Training/Bible Study.I never realized how important repentance is in a believer's life.This lesson (lesson 4), has made me dig even deeper in to what exactly does repenting entail...When looking at biblical stories such as David's story, I noticed that repentance is something that should come naturally and be genuine, with grievance.Repentance is the biggest step towards personal and public revival.

Repenting isn't always easy,especially when the Holy Spirit convicts you of a sin that you feel you were okay living with, or a sin that you don't feel ready to confront...

The word "sin" alone, carries a lot of baggage because of the seriousness and the guilt that society puts on it, to a point were no one wants to acknowledge anything that they have done/thought as a sin.Today we tend to think of sin as a heinous criminal act like murder, rather than the sin of simply telling a "white lie". 

What is repentance to you?

Do you believe it's necessary to repent after every inappropriate thought or act?

to be continued........

-Lauren 

~Society Lowering Standards~ Part 1

Lately, I have noticed how we (society) are rapidly making things that were once unacceptable, acceptable.For example, long time ago alcohol was prohibited,but since then it was made acceptable again.Prostitution was illegal in the U.S.,but now it's accepted in certain states as long as they followed certain rules and payed taxes...What has this world come to? 

Of course now society is debating whether or not marijuana should be legalized.At this point,it appears to be that more and more people are expressing their approval of marijuana being legalized or just expressing their indifference to the matter.Everything that has been legalized or simply just made more socially acceptable within the past 20 years have been things-issues that made society 'feel better'. 

Gay marriage has since been legalized in New York and has always been legal in other states and countries.This subject is sooooooo touchy that it most heterosexual people don't even want to think about it let alone talk about it unless they are major gay/lesbian supporters.Which leads me to that fact that now it's 'cool' to be a gay advocate as an heterosexual person; most celebrities always campaign about it and get people hyped about it....

What do you think?

-Lauren

Letting GO~

It's always hard to let go of the past-whether it happened years ago,yesterday or five minutes ago. "Let it go" is always easy to say,but hard to do. This has always been a test for me.One thing is for sure, 'letting go' is always worth the struggle! Letting go of an issue that you had with somebody that keeps lingering in the back of your head.It can be as small as someone taking "your" parking spot;in the moment you feel like it was an ultimate vendetta towards you,but in all actuality it wasn't even close to being the case. It can be a week later and suddenly remember-replay that same situation in your head while you're in the shower or driving down the street.Usually we get that same irritated-angry feeling all over again.....AT THIS VERY MOMENT IS WHEN YOU SHOULD TELL GOD AND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE DONE! YOU REPENT FOR OVERREACTING TO THE SITUATION AND LETTING THAT FESTER IN YOUR MIND AND SOUL AND YOU TELL GOD THAT YOU CAST ALL YOUR CARES ONTO HIM.You no longer need to dwell on meaningless distractions (i.e. misunderstandings,heated debates,mishaps,etc...).

Don't waste your time replaying issues over and over again-LET IT GO! Just remember you're on borrowed time and this is no way to spend that time-spend it wisely.

-Lauren

~Fault Finding~

Do you know someone that has a knack for finding errors where ever they go?

I am all to familiar with this topic.I use to be able to spot a flaw from a mile away,I enjoyed pointing out errors as small as punctuation in someone's email.I didn't realize that I had an issue until a met my match.It came to the point where I wouldn't want this person to even look at anything I have written or illustrated.It was then that I came to an understanding that what I had always been doing was putting people in bondage.When it comes to a point that a person has to avoid you or avoid being in certain environments with you,you have a problem!

There are others who find fault in people's character...It is one thing to notice certain harmful characteristics in a person but it is another to find characteristics that you feel aren't right.The list of flaws can go on and on...

Next time you meet someone new or come in contact with somebody you don't like, FIND at least ONE thing positive about them.....repeat it until to you can automatically make that positive association with them from then on! :)

-Lauren

~Introspection~

What does it mean to be "introspective"?

I feel that the definition for "introspective" has been skewed to fit people's situations.In other words,they can say that have been looking at themselves and realized that there are still issues to be dealt with,meanwhile they only scratched the surface and don't want to go any deeper yet because it's uncomfortable for them realize that they have some major issues that need to be addressed.Common phrases like "We all have our issues" or "We're not perfect" are no longer legitimate excuses for continuing on in bitterness,control,anger,frustration,pride,control,manipulation and so on.For anyone who claims to be living a Christian life HAVE to be able to look at those crucial areas of themselves in order to rid themselves of it and press on with out constant conflict over every little thing that comes their way.

To many Christians are living their lives without JOY in their hearts because they are hindering THEMSELVES from having it.As human beings in general,we like to assume it's another person's fault for our unhappiness...If that's the case, then you are already on the wrong path.No person on this earth is responsible for your happiness! Best believe that if you don't have joy...you prevented it.I know that's a big pill to swallow,but I myself had to deal with this fact fairly recently.

I use to rely on the people around me to make me happy.If they weren't happy-I wasn't happy...so if you hang around people who seem to be NEVER happy about ANYTHING in particular you will be miserable! They don't even have to be unhappy about everything in life, they could just be unhappy about a particular situation or experience. When you spend time in counsel with these type of people you allow their foul spirit(s) to penetrate you.This then adds to the "baggage" that most people carry around with them already;excess "baggage" clouds the mind and suppresses the Holy Spirit from being able to "stretch out" and do some house cleaning as you do some introspection.............

-Lauren

~Share Your Heart~ #2

If you’ve lived for any length of time, you’ve experienced pain.  Whether that pain is from the betrayal of a friend, the squashing of one of your dreams, the pain of losing a pet, a friend, or someone else you loved with everything inside of you, the pain of not being chosen for team sports, or the pain of desperately wanting someone to listen to you and feeling that no one cares; it doesn’t matter.  Pain cuts deep and leaves a hole where part of your heart used to be.

What do you do when you’re in pain & you think you should be able to talk to your parents; but your parents are the ones that are causing you the pain?  Do you talk to your friends?  Do you talk to your teachers?  Do you talk to the parents of some of your friends?  Or, do you keep silent?  What if you could find the perfect friend; what qualities would you want them to have so that you would feel safe to share your deepest thoughts, feelings, dreams, hopes, fears, and desires?

-Jode